Category Archives: Uncategorized

Unusual Performance Evaluations

Employee evaluations are meant to be beneficial, but sometimes they can just just plain brutal. Here are some quotes, found on Recruiters Network, taken from actual performance evaluations that are sure to feel better about your upcoming review:

  • “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.”
  • “His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.”
  • “I would not allow this employee to breed.”
  • “This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won’t be.”
  • “Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.”
  • “When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.”
  • “He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.”
  • “This young lady has delusions of adequacy.”
  • “He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.”
  • “This employee should go far – and the sooner he starts, the better.”
  • “This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.”

Who is responsible for getting a fair deal for migrant workers?

It’s not often I look at the front of a magazine and laugh, but when I looked at the cover of the 10th September 2009 People Management Magazine it had a male “migrant worker” doing manual labour and in the back ground two well dressed people with high visibility jackets on and the slogan “Bitter Harvest, Who is responsible for getting a fair deal for migrant workers?” 

My initial view is get rid of the people standing there watching and share out their wages! But when you think harder about it the whole things makes me smile, we have massive unemployment and also people who are willing to work for anything. I agree all employees need to be protected but if our businesses need to reduce costs to stay competitive and there are people willing to do the job, surely it’s unfair to demand stuff from businesses that might mean they can only operate for a couple of years rather that long term success. A lot of migrant workers earn more money doing these jobs here than jobs back home even though we deem the money to be insufficient.

It makes me smile how people try and split the argument easily down the middle, surely our main aim is that British companies succeed and we should not be protecting an individual who will make money and leave the country. Yes all employees need to be protected but where can you draw the line. We have increasing unemployment and people refusing to do manual jobs, yet migrant workers are willing to do the hard work without what we call the sufficient payment.

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SOUNDS FAMILIAR?

This made me smile, because I identified with it so much! I wonder if you will too? Not that I’m suggesting that any of you are loosing the plot……!!!
Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder!

This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my lawn. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. As I walked towards the garage, I notice that there was mail on the porch table that I had brought up from the mail box earlier and I decided to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the rubbish bin under the table, and notice that the bin is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first. But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the rubbish, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only one cheque left. My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking earlier. I’m going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I didn’t accidentally knock it over. I noticed that the Coke was getting warm,
and I decided I should put it in the refrigerator to keep cold.

As I head towards the kitchen with the Coke a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye – they need to be watered. I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the living room where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

the lawn isn’t watered, the car isn’t washed, the bills aren’t paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers don’t have enough water, there is still only one cheque in my cheque book, I can’t find the remote, I can’t find my glasses, I don’t remember what I did with the car keys,and my neighbor called to tell me he turned off the hose that was flooding the driveway.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail.

Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!

GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC!

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Whose Job?

For my first entry I wanted to make sure I wrote something that everyone could find funny and everyone would relate to, I think this fits both…

Whose Job?

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everbody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realised that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done!

Bet you’ve heard excuses along these lines before? Thanks to Ulster reg no:8000 for writing this on a t-towel!!!

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